Slowing down, backing out, and yet...

I became a member of BGG in January 2017 and have been both growing and culling my games collection ever since.

It now sits at 65 titles -expansions included- with 40 more having been sold or gifted. I am also waiting for 4 games I backed on Kickstarter to be delivered. At this point, I feel like the chap in the 9 of Cups card (I couldn't help the tarot association): satiated, full, having everything I wanted, and yet a bit concerned. Something is eating me from the inside.

This worm is difficult to explain: I absolutely don't need any more games. My cup is filled to the brim. I have managed to purchase every game I wanted to experience, and my collection mostly consists of good quality games that can be played over and over. In the past year I refrained from backing Kickstarter projects unless I saw something I deemed very worthy. The fact that shipping costs to Greece have recently skyrocketed was definitely a factor, but it wasn't what caused my fatigue.

Our website gives me the chance to closely study most of the games that launch on Kickstarter and Gamefound. I read rulebooks and watch videos to write posts on a regular basis. Solo modes are now everywhere, even the most interaction-heavy multiplayer game is forced into submission (Turczification), we are literally spoiled for choice. I am, however, not easily tempted and quite difficult to impress.

I roll my eyes when I see big boxes full of plastic: how many armies of zombies is a person happy to paint? How many expansions do they want that they will never play? Same with all these euros that are slight variations of each other: "send meeples to do tedious tasks and gain the favour of the king/emperor/high rank jerk!" Not to mention the worst offender: storybook games. Gameplay becoming the supplement of a cliché-ridden and pointless narrative. "You see an old man beckoning you from the side of the road, do you approach him or ignore him?" Random choices are so thrilling!

My personal preferences play a role here, of course, and by now I can usually tell if I will enjoy a game or not before I invest in it. So, the obvious conclusion would be: stop buying new games altogether, play the ones you have (and give us a break). Eh. If only it was that simple. We come back to the aforementioned worm. I have lately spent many evenings looking at my collection and not being motivated enough to grab a box and set up the contents. Then I feel guilty for not taking advantage of my spare time.

When Crazy Taco arrived last week, and because it was shiny new, I immediately learned it and played it. So it appears that I still need the excitement of a new package, I'm still dependent on the adrenaline kick of the new arrival. I have cut down on purchasing, as I'm also running out of space, but it seems that I can't (yet?) reach that Zen moment in life where I'm content with what I have and I want nothing more. Is that even possible?

...and do I even want to be a Zen nun? First of all, a shaved head wouldn't suit me, and second, as JW says, f**k Zen. I'm all for mindful spending etc. etc., but I'm also a curious cat, I like new experiences, I enjoy unboxing a new acquisition, I look forward to playing something I haven't played before. The problem is I have all the good games in the world already.